In this episode:
- Rob experiencing the Paunch bad luck on an airplane,
- the Rutgers Scarlet Knights in the Insight Bowl,
- a listener get-rich-quick scheme from Eric in NJ,
- New Year’s Eve in Times Square,
- a Kevin Federline update (www.kevinfederline.com),
- “PopoZao,”
- local psychos (the towel-neck guy, the Jamaican bike riding guy, and the fake Amish guy),
- the Amish chant,
- Richard Simmons and his strange dolls (www.richardsimmons.com),
- a substitute janitor,
- and the annoying word of the episode.
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you guys forgot about witchie poo. Greg would know her, the crazy lady that lives across the street from me, Rob if u lived in the white house on the corner, she was ure next door neighbor. I think thats where Greg said u lived. Anyway the crazy lady walks around town picking out of garbages and stuff like that.
She told me and my brothers that we killed her mother after we threw clay at her house. Good times.
Good lord. Get that ridiculous creation out of my face.
Hey Rob,
Local psychos: how about Chris H. (his many lies and his schizo personality), Crazy Friday Night Guy, Stan G. (thinks he knows everything about toy stores), Slony (Anarchy Online retard), and finally Larry with his lame ass techno CD (I’m drunk listening to punk)?
Dennis, I remember. Chris H. was the keystone that was holding the entire infrastructure of EB in place. Supposedly, without him, the entire company would collapse. Then, supposedly his band got signed to a major record label and were going to California to play shows and record. Then, he showed up in that old, dusty, ridiculous-looking suit jacket and was crying about something stupid. He dumped Beatrice, too.
Eskimo Larry was definitely classic. “I’m drunk listening to punk” is hilarious! And according to him, every video game was too choppy.
There was also King Rat, Prince Rat, The Fish Bros. (a.k.a. The Stink Bros.), The Ultimate D.A.D., Twitchy Tom, Manson, Woody (from Friendly’s), Ralph (who returned everything he bought the next day and looked like he was rolling around in mud), Molasses (that guy John with the glasses who would spend hours asking us questions and could never, ever decide what to buy), etc.
Of course, some of our coworkers were among the cream of the crop…Dog of Dogs, Skintooth (a.k.a. Nincompoop), Pilar, and of course “Flick.”
Here in de Souf we have Ron Morgan. This guy has seen everything and done everything. He has an answer for everything and is so very popular…in his own mind. I have a joke I have written just for him, wanna here it? Here it goes.
I questioned Ron on his knowledge and personal contacts. I said, “I bet there are a few people you don’t know. I will bet you don’t know the President of the U.S.” He whipped out his cell phone, dialed a number, and lo and behold, I was speaking to the President. I then thought for a second and asked if he knew the Pope. He drove me to where the Pope just happened to be speaking. There was a huge crowd and the Pope was on a balcony waving. Ron said, “Wait here, I will be right back.” He walked away and a few minutes later I saw him standing next to the Pope waving along with him. Just then a man walked up to me and asked, “Who the Hell is that standing next to Ron Morgan?”
He’s been married six times he finally found the one for him. He is 53 and she is 28. They have been married for 14 years. DO THE MATH. I guess he was just doing what the clergy manual told him to do. She was thirteen he was like forty when they were married. We all look up to men like Ron, not Ron but men like him. This is all true. Ron Morgan lives.
greg and rob: thanks for the nightmares about the richard simmons’ dolls.