Bill Cosby

Bill Cosby The Paunch Stevenson Show Lame Idiot of The Year Award

Bill Cosby is the winner of The Paunch Stevenson Show Lame Idiot of 2014 Award.

At one time, Bill Cosby was the biggest TV star in America and everyone’s favorite ghost dad. He was one of the top comedians of his generation. He was also the host of Picture Pages and starred in Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids, The Cosby Show, Cosby, and I Spy. And for years, he sold us Jell-O pudding and Texas Instruments home computers.

In 2014, after a comment at a comedy club by comedian Hannibal Buress quickly went viral, the allegations poured in. Around two dozen women, including Lou Ferrigno’s wife, have accused Cosby of drugging their drinks and sexually assaulting them. Yet somehow the Coz continues his comedy tour. Appalling and very, very lame.

Listen to Judd Apatow- go into your mansion, hide, and never come out!

Microsoft Xbox One

xbox_one The Paunch Stevenson Show Lame Idiot of The Year Award

The design, marketing, public relations, and executive team for the newly released Microsoft Xbox One console are the winner of The Paunch Stevenson Show Lame Idiot of 2013 Award. Granted the system has already sold quite well, but Microsoft went from being the dominant seventh generation system (everywhere but Japan) to Sony’s doormat.

Why did this happen? First there’s the price, debuting at $499, a full $100 more than the Playstation 4. That was thanks to the Kinect device, which all consumers are forced to buy whether they want it or not. Second issue was maybe the most vocal among hardcore gamers: DRM. DRM is digital rights management, and basically means that even though you physically own a game, you kind of don’t! The initial plan was that you buy a game, install it to the hard drive, but then couldn’t bring it to a friend’s house, trade it into a game store, etc., without severe restrictions. Despite highly negative reactions to rumors about this, Microsoft refused to discuss it and after the details were announced, refused to dump the policy for many months.

Hardware wise, the system (like PS4) comes with a 500 GB hard drive. However, unlike PS4, nobody has any idea how you can replace or upgrade the drive in an XBox One. Brilliant. Additional ambiguity is the need to have the system connected to the internet to function, something that isn’t possible for all users everywhere in the world. In one instance, an Xbox executive caustically admonished American military troops overseas for complaining that they couldn’t keep a system online like that in the middle of the desert. The executive told them “to shut up and keep playing the Xbox 360.” Not to mention certain privacy concerns.

Lastly, there’s the highly confusing name, Xbox One, which is what most of us have been calling the first Xbox released in 2001. Now Microsoft has relented on certain issues like DRM, and their mistreatment/draconian policies for Indie-game developers. But the damage was done. Lame!!!!!!!!

Charlie Sheen

Charlie Sheen The Paunch Stevenson Show Lame Idiot of The Year Award

Charlie Sheen is the winner of The Paunch Stevenson Show Lame Idiot of 2011 Award.

Last October, Charlie Sheen was busted for trashing a swank hotel room at New York’s Plaza Hotel, admitting to using drugs and having a hooker over. In the face of controversy, Sheen admitted himself to his third attempt at “home rehab.” With CBS growing anxious, they decided to halt production on his hit show Two and a Half Men, which infuriated Sheen. He took to the airwaves and the internet, blasted the studio, the network, and the show’s creator Chuck Lorre, and refusing to come back to work without a 50% raise. Eventually Sheen was fired, losing his $1.8 million dollar an episode salary.

Shortly after being fired, child services removed his toddler children from his house, where Sheen lived with former porn stars. His ex-wife Brooke Mueller, gets into worse trouble than Charlie. Sheen became an internet sensation, but tweeting nonsensical things like “Duh, winning”, “Tiger Blood”, and “Warlock.” He would repeat these things in prime time interviews, including a bizarre night on Pierce Morgan’s show, in which Charlie was clearly wasted. Sheen attempted multiple comebacks by hosting web cam shows, where he spewed more craziness, and a video on Funny or Die.com where he cooked food mixed with cigarettes.

Lastly, Charlie attempted a comedy/improv tour, but he was booed off the stage in Chicago and Detroit, and quit shortly thereafter. He also claimed to be starring in a new movie, Major League 3, even though that film was already produced over 10 years ago with Scott Bakula. Somehow, Sheen, like Keith Richards, has managed not to kill himself, so we expect he’ll eventually return to film and TV. Where’s Hot Shots part Twee?

Politicians

The Paunch Stevenson Show Lame Idiot of The Year Award

Normally one big time dimwit gets to win The Paunch Stevenson Show Lame Idiot of the Year Award. Well in 2010, one award was not enough for the cesspool of loserdom otherwise known as American politics. It was a banner year.

1) The “Tea Party” were in full force on the prime issues of the day, first and foremost, that President Obama did not have a birth certificate. Throughout the year, spillover from 2009 in fact, was the battle over Healthcare. Well, the lack of affordable healthcare. As the right wing screamed and yelled about socialism, working people continued to get the shaft. Get sick, don’t look at us, it’s your problem.

2) Those lovelies were egged on by the grand phony himself Glenn Beck of Fox News.

3) Let’s not forget the lack of climate change reform, which has led to a miserable winter where snow is everywhere. More importantly, who can forget the decades of political favors paid to the oil industry. They returned the favor by causing the worst oil spill in US history. BP Chairman Tony Hayward reacted by complaining about not being able to get back to his yachting.

4) And lastly, our wonderful home state of New Jersey has a new Governor, Chris Christie, who fought with everybody. That’s not what annoys us. He canceled a project that was long underway to add rail access, via a new tunnel from NJ to NYC. If there’s one thing we absolutely abhor, it’s our commute to and from work, whether on the roads or on the trains. Any project that lessens the congestion is a wonderful thing. Unfortunately, the governor didn’t think so.

Tiger Woods

The Paunch Stevenson Show Lame Idiot of The Year Award

A pretty bad year for Tiger Woods, but more than qualified to win The Paunch Stevenson Show Lame Idiot of 2009 Award!

Apparently Tiger’s had more blond girls than Bond girls had by Sean Connery, Roger Moore, and Pierce Brosnan put together. Allegedly he got drunk, and beat up by his wife, with a golf club, crashed his car into a tree in front of his own house, and lied on the ground bleeding, giggling, and sleeping? Not to mention steroid allegations? Tiger is a tabloid’s best friend.