Happy New Year!!

In this episode:

• a sing off: Eliza Dushku’s “Freedom” vs. Paul McCartney’s “Freedom”,
• Yoko Ono ruining the Rolling Stones Rock and Roll Circus performances,
• John Lennon in The Dirty Mac with Eric Clapton, Mitch Mitchell, and Keith Richards,
• Rob’s genius idea #1 (bomb scare to cancel a sports game),
• Jean-Claude Van Damme playing hockey in Sudden Death (1995),
• Rob’s genius idea #2 (everybody gets a free crime to commit),
• Tom Cruise hires people to be his fans in India,
• Tom Hanks posting pictures of his injured thumb on Twitter,
• our new Paunch Twitter account,
• Alec Baldwin gets thrown off a plane and makes fun of it on Saturday Night Live,
• the trailer for the upcoming movie The Three Stooges (2012),
• a remake of Gilligan’s Island starring the cast of Curb Your Enthusiasm,
• Unabomber Ted Kasinsky being tortured with CIA mind control,
• more incompetent bus drivers,
• What Ever Happened To? (comedian Bob Nelson),
• the new Modern Warfare video game making $4 billion in its first few days of sales,
• Hulk Hogan and Brutus Beefcake suing Hogan’s ex-wife,
• Miyamoto not retiring from Nintendo,
• our Lame Idiot of the Year award goes to Charlie Sheen,
• and the runner up is Kim Kardashian.

Here’s our take on the Curb Your Enthusiasm cast starring in a new Gilligan’s Island!

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Charlie Sheen is the winner of The Paunch Stevenson Show Lame Idiot of 2011 Award.

Last October, Charlie Sheen was busted for trashing a swank hotel room at New York’s Plaza Hotel, admitting to using drugs and having a hooker over. In the face of controversy, Sheen admitted himself to his third attempt at “home rehab.” With CBS growing anxious, they decided to halt production on his hit show Two and a Half Men, which infuriated Sheen. He took to the airwaves and the internet, blasted the studio, the network, and the show’s creator Chuck Lorre, and refusing to come back to work without a 50% raise. Eventually Sheen was fired, losing his $1.8 million dollar an episode salary.

Shortly after being fired, child services removed his toddler children from his house, where Sheen lived with former porn stars. His ex-wife Brooke Mueller, gets into worse trouble than Charlie. Sheen became an internet sensation, but tweeting nonsensical things like “Duh, winning”, “Tiger Blood”, and “Warlock.” He would repeat these things in prime time interviews, including a bizarre night on Pierce Morgan’s show, in which Charlie was clearly wasted. Sheen attempted multiple comebacks by hosting web cam shows, where he spewed more craziness, and a video on Funny or Die.com where he cooked food mixed with cigarettes.

Lastly, Charlie attempted a comedy/improv tour, but he was booed off the stage in Chicago and Detroit, and quit shortly thereafter. He also claimed to be starring in a new movie, Major League 3, even though that film was already produced over 10 years ago with Scott Bakula. Somehow, Sheen, like Keith Richards, has managed not to kill himself, so we expect he’ll eventually return to film and TV. Where’s Hot Shots part Twee?

In this episode:

• the Transformers: Prime computer animated series starring Peter Cullen and Frank Welker,
• Michael Bell in an episode of G.I. Joe: Renegades,
• Cobra’s battle cry,
• the upcoming video game Duke Nukem Forever,
• the ThunderCats computer animated movie trailer,
• Liam Neeson as the voice of Qui-Gon Jinn in the computer animated series Star Wars: The Clone Wars,
• the upcoming movie Terminator 5 starring Arnold Schwarzenegger,
• the biggest Lame Idiot of 2010 (BP),
• the 2011 Razzie Awards for bad movies,
• our review of Black Swan (2010) starring Natalie Portman,
• our review of The Dilemma (2011) starring Vince Vaughn and Kevin James,
• and the Emergency Broadcast System.

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Normally one big time dimwit gets to win The Paunch Stevenson Show Lame Idiot of the Year Award. Well in 2010, one award was not enough for the cesspool of loserdom otherwise known as American politics. It was a banner year.

1) The “Tea Party” were in full force on the prime issues of the day, first and foremost, that President Obama did not have a birth certificate. Throughout the year, spillover from 2009 in fact, was the battle over Healthcare. Well, the lack of affordable healthcare. As the right wing screamed and yelled about socialism, working people continued to get the shaft. Get sick, don’t look at us, it’s your problem.

2) Those lovelies were egged on by the grand phony himself Glenn Beck of Fox News.

3) Let’s not forget the lack of climate change reform, which has led to a miserable winter where snow is everywhere. More importantly, who can forget the decades of political favors paid to the oil industry. They returned the favor by causing the worst oil spill in US history. BP Chairman Tony Hayward reacted by complaining about not being able to get back to his yachting.

4) And lastly, our wonderful home state of New Jersey has a new Governor, Chris Christie, who fought with everybody. That’s not what annoys us. He canceled a project that was long underway to add rail access, via a new tunnel from NJ to NYC. If there’s one thing we absolutely abhor, it’s our commute to and from work, whether on the roads or on the trains. Any project that lessens the congestion is a wonderful thing. Unfortunately, the governor didn’t think so.

Please leave a comment with your choice for Lame Idiot of 2010!!!

In this episode:

• Rob dreams of a sequel to Dutch starring Ed O’Neill,
• credit card schemes and credit scores,
• actor and comedian Tom Wilson’s funny “The Question Song,”
• Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (1968) starring Dick Van Dyke,
• celebrity deaths (Irwin Kirshner, Dino De Laurentiis, Barbara Billingsley, Kevin McCarthy, and Leslie Nielsen),
• remembering the good and bad movies of Leslie Nielsen,
• Whatever Happened To? (Harry Anderson),
• the retirement (finally) of Larry King,
• Stan Lee rambling on and on with Twitter tweets,
• our culinary review of burger joints (Five Guys, Smash Burger, Elevation Burger),
• our deli review of sandwich shops (Quiznos, Subway, Blimpie),
• factory farming,
• new age and expensive “breadshops” (Panera Bread, Atlanta Bread Co., Saladworks),
• the fall of Howard Stern,
• Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon (2011) trailer,
• nominees for Lame Idiot of the Year,
• and new Mike Massé cover songs: “Africa” by Toto, “In the Name of Love” and “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For” by U2, and “Happy Xmas (War Is Over)” by John Lennon.

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A pretty bad year for Tiger Woods, but more than qualified to win The Paunch Stevenson Show Lame Idiot of 2009 Award!

Apparently Tiger’s had more blond girls than Bond girls had by Sean Connery, Roger Moore, and Pierce Brosnan put together. Allegedly he got drunk, and beat up by his wife, with a golf club, crashed his car into a tree in front of his own house, and lied on the ground bleeding, giggling, and sleeping? Not to mention steroid allegations? Tiger is a tabloid’s best friend.

George W. Bush is the winner of The Paunch Stevenson Show Lame Idiot of 2008 Award. Also Lame Idiot of the Decade.

Need we really expound on this choice? Here are some “W” moments….

Michael Bay is the winner of The Paunch Stevenson Show Lame Idiot of 2007 Award.

Michael Bay directed the horrible summer blockbuster Transformers (2007) and destroyed the classic science fiction franchise. He ignored the producers’ suggestions and decided to stick with a broken script and make the Transformers look like metal skeletons instead of robots.

According to Bay, “Tom Desanto proceeded to tell me how much he had problems with the robot designs and script issues. I realized he was worlds apart in my vision. I said thank you very much and then showed him my office door… I never spoke creatively with Don Murphy. I read his notes kind of trashing the script… he knew I was not going to talk creative with him.”

Read more: www.deadlinehollywooddaily.com/michael-bay-wants-to-get-facts-straight/

Michael Bay has directed other masterpieces like Bad Boys (1995), Armageddon (1998), and Pearl Harbor (2001). He is also directing the upcoming Transformers 2 scheduled for release in the U.S. on June 26, 2009. Great.

We’re back!

In this episode:

• bidding on old video games on eBay.com,
• the San Francisco Rush series,
• Sega in the 1990s (the Genesis, Sega CD, 32X, etc.),
• the pronunciation of Uranus,
• giant camcorders in the 1980s,
• tiny new digital camcorders,
• longer episodes of The Paunch Stevenson Show,
• the unreliability of 5.25″ floppy disks,
• old video game controllers with telephone keypads on them,
• the Coleco Telstar Arcade from 1977,
• light guns (the NES Zapper, Wii Zapper, SNES Super Scope, and Genesis Menacer),
• the Sega Activator,
• deceptive toy commercials,
• pointless toys (Shrinky Dinks, Lite-Brite, wrestling figures, etc.),
• creative toys (the Etch A Sketch Animator and the Fisher-Price PXL-2000),
• live action role-playing (G.I. Joe, The Transformers, etc.),
• our review of Incredible Change-Bots by Jeffrey Brown (2007),
• shopworn books at Barnes & Noble,
• The Dark Knight (2008) trailer,
• the Rambo (2008) trailer,
• Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007),
• the upcoming movie Terminator Salvation: The Future Begins (2009),
• Still Crazy (1998) starring Billy Connolly and Bill Nighy,
• Read-Along Adventures (www.readalongadventures.com),
• the Lame Idiot of 2007 (Michael Bay),
• and director Uwe Boll.

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In this episode:

• another physics experiment with the fake Julius Sumner Miller (tension),
• the Lame Idiot of 2006 (Tom Cruise),
• Katie Holmes,
• the upcoming Batman movie The Dark Knight (2008) starring Christian Bale,
• Louie Anderson as the Penguin,
• Louie Anderson on The Weakest Link,
• Dr. Phil dancing on American Idol,
• the game show Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?,
• Dr. Phil controversies,
• celebrities trying to play professional sports (Elisabeth Shue, Andrew Shue, Garth Brooks, etc.),
• Voltron sneakers (submitted by Dennis in NC),
• an Eliza Dushku update,
• and Rookie of the Year (1993) starring Thomas Ian Nicholas and Gary Busey.

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