In this episode:

• our giant movie review of Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011) in 3D, starring Shia LaBeouf and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley,
• the ridiculous length of the movie,
• the end of the shaky camera fad,
• a list of movies and TV shows Michael Bay ripped off (The Transformers, Superman, The Watchmen, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, and Jackie Chan’s Who Am I?),
• illogical Duracell battery pricing at Staples,
• our roll call of robots in the movie (Optimus Prime, Bumblebee, Ironhide, Ratchet, Sentinal Prime, Starscream, Megatron, Shockwave, Soundwave, and dozens of unnamed robots),
• Sentinal Prime’s face modeled after Sean Connery,
• Bay’s horrendous computer animated version of John F. Kennedy,
• Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) constantly screaming and crying,
• Bay’s terrible Barack Obama impersonator,
• Sam spending an hour going on job interviews,
• Leonard Nimoy as the voice of Sentinal Prime and Galvatron,
• various plot holes,
• Optimus Prime actually wondering where his trailer went in the movie,
• robots who were killed in the movie (the unnamed Scottish Autobot, Ironhide, Megatron, Starscream, the unnamed Decepticon bird, etc.),
• our welcoming of the inevitable Transformers movie reboot,
• Transformers spitting,
• Michael Bay turning Optimus Prime into a ruthless murderer,
• Peter Cullen and Frank Welker’s voice acting,
• Shia LaBeouf’s recent acting career (Eagle Eye and Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps),
• Bay’s constant use of slow motion,
• billions of dollars worth of damage in action movies with no consequences,
• hacking into objects,
• Bay’s ignorance of science,
• the lack of rules and continuity in Bay’s Transformers movies,
• What Ever Happened To? (Bugle Boy jeans, Z. Cavaricci genie pants, Zubaz, IOU sweatshirts, B.U.M. Equipment, etc.),
• Roseanne Barr’s reality show Roseanne’s Nuts on Lifetime,
• a Transformers: Dark of the Moon cameo by Scott Krinsky from Chuck,
• Bay’s completely wasted use of 3D,
• fans feeling obligated to watch bad movies,
• Glynn Turman appearing in Super 8 (2011) and Gremlins (1984),
• Sean Connery’s brother Neil Connery starring in bad movies: OK Connery (1967) and The Body Stealers (1969),
• celebrity deaths (Peter Falk and Sherwood Schwartz),
• Paul Reiser and The Paunch Stevenson Show episode 2,
• and a new stupid style (extremely short cutoff shorts with dangling pockets).

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Celebrating 5 Years of the Paunch Stevenson Show (Part I)!

In this episode:

• the old show theme song (from episode 3),
• interviewing the fake Christopher Walken (from episode 3),
• our skit about a doctor mixing lab results up (from episode 4),
• the fake Sean Connery (from episode 5),
• The Night Before Christmas Troll Read-Along Classics (from episode 7),
• Ted Danson in black face (from episode 9),
• My Chemical Romance and the singing Hobo (from episode 10),
• music from The Doors causing pain (from episode 12),
• the song “Thirteen” by Rob (from episode 13),
• duped into seeing the lousy IMAX movie Roving Mars (from episode 15),
• our hometown Belleville, NJ trivia (from episode 15),
• Paunch in Time (retreat of George Washington) (from episode 18),
• Max Wright (from episode 21),
• our 7th grade geography bee (from episode 22),
• Greg’s quest to meet the “Dush” Eliza Dushku (from episode 24),
• the Old Jingle of the Episode (Bod) (from episode 24),
• Tom Green (from episode 27),
• educational comedic film Grizzly Man (from episode 31),
• Star Wars: Louie Anderson Special Edition (from episode 34),
• our version of Sanford and Son (from episode 34),
• Jaleel White’s rumored death (from episode 36),
• the fake William Shatner sings “Shine on You Crazy Diamond” (from episode 38),
• Nicolas Cage or Dr. Phil as Superman? (from episode 39),
• Who Wants to Be a Superhero? starring Stan Lee (from episode 43),
• fake Steven Seagal sequel Under Siege 3: Space Station (from episode 61),
• Jon Voight’s zany accents and pronunciations (from episode 76),
• and our Larry David and Jeff Garlin impersonations (from episode 91).

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In this episode:

• special guest Dennis in CA,
• the upcoming movie Toy Story 3 (2010),
• the most recent episode of Real Time with Bill Maher on HBO,
• Republicans and evolution,
• Jesus and tall tales,
• watching Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984) at Sunshine Cinema in NYC (picture)
• various James Bond actors,
• Sean Connery,
• Dennis’s review of Watchmen (2009),
• the superhero movie fad,
• Superman,
• Paul McCartney and The Fireman,
• MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice (concert promo pic),
• old stupid styles (Z. Cavaricci, I.O.U., Hypercolor, and sweatpants with the legs pulled up),
• the upcoming movie X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009),
• the upcoming movie Thor (2011),
• Will Smith as Captain America,
• Jake “The Snake” Roberts trapping The Ultimate Warrior in a room full of snakes,
• the Metal Gear series of video games,
• The Fountain (2006) starring Hugh Jackman,
• The Prestige (2006) starring Christian Bale,
• and Dennis’s encounter with George Lucas at the Game Developers Conference in 2008.

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In this episode:

• Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut (1980, 2006) on DVD,
• Highlander: The Source (2007) starring Adrian Paul,
• director Brett Leonard and his horrible movies,
• The Lawnmower Man (1992) starring Pierce Brosnan,
• bad computer graphics,
• Virtuosity (1995) starring Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe,
• T-Rex: Back to the Cretaceous (1998),
• Bloodfist VII: Manhunt (1995) starring Don “The Dragon” Wilson,
• Cobra (1986) starring Sylvester Stallone,
• Steven Seagal breaking Sean Connery’s wrist,
• Imus Ranch salsa,
• and the Apple iPhone price cut.

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The Paunch Stevenson Show super mega movie review of Transformers!

In this episode:

• our Transformers (2007) movie review with Adam in SC,
• the Transformers’ lack of dialogue and personality,
• shaky camera work during battles,
• lengthy transformations,
• Hugo Weaving’s lame Megatron voice,
• Peter Cullen as the voice of Optimus Prime,
• Darius McCrary as the voice of Jazz,
• the Allspark cube,
• eBay,
• the World Wide Web and Al Gore,
• Jon Voight’s pronunciation of “robot,”
• a list of movies that Transformers (2007) ripped off (They Live, Small Soldiers, Superman, AVP: Alien vs. Predator, Independence Day, Gremlins 2: The New Batch, etc.),
• the lack of machines in the 1930s,
• Kremzeek,
• the lack of the Transformers’ backstory,
• the trailer for the upcoming untitled J.J. Abrams movie (2008),
• season two of Who Wants to Be a Superhero? starring Stan Lee,
• our movie review of Live Free or Die Hard (2007) starring Bruce Willis and Justin Long,
• Herbie the Love Bug,
• the Transformers peeing and playing hide and seek,
• impressive fan CGI,
• and a line from The Transformers: The Movie (1986).

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In this episode:

• CBS firing Don Imus,
• Sinbad’s rumored death,
• Dairy Queen’s barbeque chicken sandwich,
• celebrity deaths (Anna Nicole Smith, Brad Delp, Richard Jeni, Kurt Vonnegut, Don Ho, Boris Yeltsin, and Bobby “Boris” Pickett),
• “Everybody’s Laughing at Me” by DJ Boris Yeltsin featuring Mike Tyson,
• Nicolas Cage being swindled out of $300,000 by classic-car broker Peter Brotman,
• the new mineral jadarite nicknamed kryptonite,
• Jon Voight’s fears of another terrorist attack,
• and John Travolta starring in the upcoming movie Hairspray (2007).

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Nicolas Cage was supposed to play the lead role in Tim Burton’s Superman Lives movie, but it was scrapped sometime around 1999. Now, he’s supposedly playing the lead role in an upcoming Liberace movie.

In this episode:

• boom cars and They Might Be Giants in Atlantic City, NJ,
• a special message from Louie Anderson,
• The Commute podcast (www.thecommute.org, currently offline),
• the teaser trailer and cast for the upcoming movie Transformers (2007),
• Al Pacino as Optimus Prime,
• veteran voice actors Peter Cullen and Frank Welker,
• a listener review of Superman Returns (2006) by Dennis in NC,
• Nicolas Cage and Dr. Phil as Superman,
• Kirk Cameron’s Left Behind video game,
• and the recent Apple Macintosh television ads lying about Microsoft Windows and PCs.

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24 minute MP3 file – 11 MB (right-click to save)

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