Happy New Year!!

In this episode:

• a sing off: Eliza Dushku’s “Freedom” vs. Paul McCartney’s “Freedom”,
• Yoko Ono ruining the Rolling Stones Rock and Roll Circus performances,
• John Lennon in The Dirty Mac with Eric Clapton, Mitch Mitchell, and Keith Richards,
• Rob’s genius idea #1 (bomb scare to cancel a sports game),
• Jean-Claude Van Damme playing hockey in Sudden Death (1995),
• Rob’s genius idea #2 (everybody gets a free crime to commit),
• Tom Cruise hires people to be his fans in India,
• Tom Hanks posting pictures of his injured thumb on Twitter,
• our new Paunch Twitter account,
• Alec Baldwin gets thrown off a plane and makes fun of it on Saturday Night Live,
• the trailer for the upcoming movie The Three Stooges (2012),
• a remake of Gilligan’s Island starring the cast of Curb Your Enthusiasm,
• Unabomber Ted Kasinsky being tortured with CIA mind control,
• more incompetent bus drivers,
• What Ever Happened To? (comedian Bob Nelson),
• the new Modern Warfare video game making $4 billion in its first few days of sales,
• Hulk Hogan and Brutus Beefcake suing Hogan’s ex-wife,
• Miyamoto not retiring from Nintendo,
• our Lame Idiot of the Year award goes to Charlie Sheen,
• and the runner up is Kim Kardashian.

Here’s our take on the Curb Your Enthusiasm cast starring in a new Gilligan’s Island!

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In this episode:

• another physics experiment with the fake Julius Sumner Miller (nuclear fusion using lasers),
• Rob getting the complete series of Get a Life on DVD,
• Family Matters season one coming to DVD in June 2010,
• celebrity deaths (Corey Haim, Peter Graves, and Robert Culp),
• Jon Voight as Jim Phelps in Mission: Impossible (1996),
• Esteban and Billy Mitchell,
• more weird comments on our Steven Seagal Hall of Lame post,
• Nicolas Cage,
• the new 15-minute National Lampoon’s Vacation short film starring Chevy Chase and Beverly D’Angelo,
• Crash Course In Science performing “Cakes in the Home” on The Uncle Floyd Show circa 1980 (video),
• Seth MacFarlane’s Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy (Backstage with Bob Dylan),
• Unseen64′s screenshots and videos from the unreleased video game GoldenEye 007 Remake (Xbox Live Arcade),
• Hulk Hogan imitating “Macho Man” Randy Savage on TNA Wrestling,
• Greg talking to Jesse Ventura at Barnes and Noble in Clifton, NJ,
• Abraham Lincoln and John Lennon conspiracy theories,
• Predator vs. Dick Cheney,
• Eliza Dushku selling clothes and car tires on eBay,
• our review of Hot Tub Time Machine (2010) starring John Cusack and Craig Robinson,
• our review of On the Waterfront (1954) starring Marlon Brando and Eva Marie Saint,
• Marlon Brando’s filmography,
• the upcoming movie MacGruber (2010) starring Will Forte and Val Kilmer,
• the best movies from 1960-1989,
• and the exclusive new version of “We Are the World” featuring Michael Jackson, Larry King, Louie Anderson, Sean Connery, Stan Lee, Dr. Phil, Bill Cosby, Sylvester Stallone, “Macho Man” Randy Savage, Al Gore, Billy Connolly, Don Knots, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Tom Green, Gary Busey, Jeff Bridges, Hulk Hogan, Marlon Brando, and Steven Seagal.

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Don’t forget: nominate your Lame Idiot of 2008!

In this episode:

• Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009) starring Kevin James,
• the upcoming movie Not Another Not Another Movie (2009) starring Chevy Chase and Vinnie Jones,
• Funny Money (2006) starring Chevy Chase,
• the A&E TV show The Beast starring Patrick Swayze (official site),
• Jeremy Piven’s mercury poisoning,
• Taken (2008) starring Liam Neeson,
• The Dark Knight (2008) starring Christian Bale and Heath Ledger,
• Shatner’s Raw Nerve on BIO Channel (official site),
• William Shatner (audio) and Casey Kasem (audio) going crazy in the studio,
• Darryl McCauley stealing $1 million from Dane Cook,
• WormyT‘s impressive ThunderCats movie trailer,
• Tom Cruise’s desire to star on Broadway,
• Elvis Presley’s deceptive songwriting credits,
• and Ricky Gervais’s HBO comedy special Out of England.

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In this episode:

• our trip to Late Show with David Letterman,
• Twilight (2008) starring Kristen Stewart,
• the Neil Diamond tribute band Super Diamond,
• JCVD (2008) starring Jean-Claude Van Damme,
• our review of Quantum of Solace (2008) starring Daniel Craig,
• our review of every James Bond movie ever made,
• the upcoming movie Valkyrie (2008) starring Tom Cruise,
• the trailer for the upcoming movie Star Trek (2009) starring Chris Pine,
• the upcoming movie Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009) starring Shia LaBeouf,
• characters in movies not watching the road while driving,
• Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew starring Jeff Conaway and Gary Busey,
• the yelling commercial guy Billy Mays,
• NBC canceling My Own Worst Enemy starring Christian Slater,
• Worst Week starring Kyle Bornheimer,
• Stan Lee’s upcoming gay superhero show on Showtime,
• parents in Nebraska leaving their teenage children at hospitals,
• and another lawsuit against Michael Jackson.

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In this episode:

• using Microsoft Windows Vista 64-bit,
• celebrity death (Stan Winston),
• Interview with the Vampire (1994) starring Tom Cruise,
• Tom Cruise’s lawyer calling Dr. Drew a Nazi,
• Dr. Phil’s talk show,
• our movie review of Get Smart (2008) starring Steve Carell,
• our movie review of Hancock (2008) starring Will Smith,
• Nicholas Cage as Dr. Fu Manchu in Werewolf Women of the S.S.,
• The Wicker Man (2006) starring Nicholas Cage,
• the upcoming movie Ace Ventura Jr. (2008) starring Josh Flitter,
• Paul Hogan’s tax evasion,
• Yoda Is Your Father (yodaisyourfather.blogspot.com),
• the upcoming movie The X-Files: I Want to Believe (2008) starring David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson,
• Will Ferrell and Sacha Baron Cohen starring in an upcoming Sherlock Holmes movie,
• getting Shawn from Branded in the 80s on the show (www.brandedinthe80s.com),
• getting Esteban from Please Save Me Robots on the show (pleasesavemerobots.blogspot.com),
• Wonderland (www.wonderlandblog.com),
• Kevin Federline’s weight gain,
• Degli Martinez accidentally throwing away his $65 million winning lottery ticket,
• Ed Begley, Jr. vs. Bill Nye the Science Guy,
• That Asian Thing playing at the Independent Features Film Festival in NYC on Sunday 7/27/08 (buy tickets – $10 each),
• getting Juliana Hatfield and the Angry Video Game Nerd on the show,
• and Hollywood Is Calling (www.hollywoodiscalling.com).

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Jerry O’Connell, or JOC as we Sliders TV show fans call him, did a viral video by SNL alum Jerry Minor. Jerry is spoofing the ridiculously absurd Tom Cruise Scientology video, where Tom babbles the whole time about nonsense, rather than convincing anyone to follow Scientology. Jerry is actually talking about the WGA writer’s strike and goofing on that. Great stuff.

In this episode:

• another physics experiment with the fake Julius Sumner Miller (tension),
• the Lame Idiot of 2006 (Tom Cruise),
• Katie Holmes,
• the upcoming Batman movie The Dark Knight (2008) starring Christian Bale,
• Louie Anderson as the Penguin,
• Louie Anderson on The Weakest Link,
• Dr. Phil dancing on American Idol,
• the game show Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?,
• Dr. Phil controversies,
• celebrities trying to play professional sports (Elisabeth Shue, Andrew Shue, Garth Brooks, etc.),
• Voltron sneakers (submitted by Dennis in NC),
• an Eliza Dushku update,
• and Rookie of the Year (1993) starring Thomas Ian Nicholas and Gary Busey.

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Tom Cruise is the winner of The Paunch Stevenson Show Lame Idiot of 2006 Award.

In an April 2006 interview with GQ conducted while his wife Katie Holmes was pregnant, Tom Cruise said, “I’m going to eat the placenta.” Four months later, Paramount ended its 14 year relationship with Cruise’s production company. We’re not surprised.

In this episode:

• professional video gamers and Major League Gaming (www.mlgpro.com),
• Burger King video games for Microsoft Xbox,
• Sony PlayStation 3 launch day scams,
• Nintendo Wii bundles,
• bleem!,
• the hypocrisy of Apple fanatics installing Microsoft Windows on their new Macintosh computers,
• elevator common sense,
• the Power Glove by Mattel and other useless gimmick toys,
• Tyco slot cars,
• and Tom Cruise’s auto racing career.

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In this episode:

• Election Day in the U.S.,
• a voice mail message from Joe Piscopo,
• Carrot Top,
• annoying car horns and alarms,
• the Casino Royale (2006) trailer,
• difficult Atari 2600 video games (Raiders of the Lost Ark, Riddle of the Sphinx, etc.),
• the Atari 7800,
• cartridges vs. CDs,
• Larry King interviewing a George W. Bush impersonator,
• Tom Cruise as the head of United Artists,
• Heaven’s Gate (1980) starring Kris Kristofferson and Jeff Bridges,
• movie rolls that actors have turned down (www.notstarring.com),
• Christopher Walken as Han Solo,
• and Puff Daddy as James Bond 007.

Happy birthday to Adam in SC!

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