Gary Coleman, Minor League Baseball “Player”

Coleman Ejected

Gary Coleman, one of our first Hall of Lamers, decided to be yet another in the long list of celebrities trying their hand at perhaps the most difficult professional sport, baseball. Coleman was thrown out of the game before he even got to bat for the Madison Mallards up in Wisconsin.

Here’s the story from The Wisconsin State Journal:

Herbert determined the (pine tar) amount was illegal and — after Coleman offered to “wipe it off” — also found the bat to be corked. The umpire pulled out a piece of black rubber on the end of the bat and watched several “super balls” spill out of the bat.

“Looks like you’re going to have a short night,” Herbert joked as he threw Coleman out of the game.

Coleman took more offense with the short joke than he did his ejection, bumping the umpire to the delight of the 5,000-plus in attendance. Eventually, Coleman set up shop behind the third-base bleachers, signing autographs (at $20 a pop) and posing for photos (those were free).

So the whole thing was a joke? We’re not laughing. Billy Crystal earlier this year in spring training, did the same kind of stunt, with the Yankees, at age 60, getting one at bat. Garth Brooks spent a whole spring with the Padres in 1999 and the Mets in 2000, although he at least looked the part. Why do these celebrities try these things when they are old, fat, out of shape, and washed up?

That Asian Thing in NYC

That Asian Thing, NYC 7/27/08

As discussed in episode 107, Greg and I saw the documentary film That Asian Thing in NYC today, July 27, 2008, as part of the Tribeca Cinemas Independent Features Film Festival. It was written and directed by our longtime friend and Paunch Stevenson Show guest Jonald Reyes.

The film was thought-provoking and humorous. Good job! Afterwards, Jonald held a questions-and-answers session with the audience, during which a woman was being projected onto the movie screen via webcam. That part was unnecessary and confusing. Who was she and what did she have to do with anything?

For updates regarding That Asian Thing, visit www.thatasianthing.com. You can also check out some pictures I posted:

Flickr – That Asian Thing, NYC 7/27/08

Nicolas Cage: Unintentionally Hilarious

Several times during the history of The Paunch Stevenson Show, we’ve joked about Nicolas Cage’s goofy acting style and voice. As recently as episode 107, we goofed on how he has become this sort of cult joke, similar to Steven Seagal or Tom Cruise. How can even his serious films, let alone his horror films, be taken seriously?

Well, here are some photos and videos from two instances, Grindhouse (2007) and The Wicker Man (2006). In the Grindhouse double-feature, Rob Zombie contributed a mock trailer called Werewolf Women of the SS. At the end is a cameo from Mr. Cage, dressed as the infamous 1950s B movie character Dr. Fu Manchu. He starts screaming and yelling and doing this horrible laugh:

Nicholas Cage as Dr. Fu Manchu

The Wicker Man: again, this was supposed to be a horror film? Cage is dressed in a bear costume, stung in the head by thousands of bees, keeps punching women in the face, and finally is set on fire and burned alive:

Nicholas Cage about to be burned aliveNicholas Cage in a bear suitNicholas Cage stung in the head by beesNicholas Cage chased by bees

Here’s an absolutely terrific video remix of clips from The Wicker Man on YouTube, set to Johnny Cash’s “Ring of Fire:”

There’s also a “comedy” trailer created by a fan. Priceless!

Сувенири

GameFly

Gamefly Logo

Hi, it’s Adam, Paunch Stevenson Show listener, guest, and blogger. I know we usually focus on things that annoy us, but here’s something I actually like.

A year and a half ago, I joined GameFly, the online video game rental service, and am happy with it. I log in, add games to my queue, and receive the first game in the mail. If that one’s out, I’ll receive the next available one instead. It only takes two or three days to arrive in the mail. It’s very easy, just like Netflix.

If you want to join, go here.

Silver Spurs Stinks

a rotten salad at Silver Spurs in NYC

There’s a restaurant called Silver Spurs on the corner of Broadway and E. 9th St. in Manhattan, only a few blocks away from Union Square Park. I’ve walked by it many times, but never ate there until this past Friday.

I went in and ordered the Salada Georgie. The description: “chicken chunks n’ shrimp combo atop garden-fresh greens, avocado.” The price: $12.75.

Service was below average, but that’s usually the case in NYC. I’m used to it by now. What I’m not used to is paying $12.75 for a salad that consists of rotten lettuce and shrimp that still has the shell on it.

I didn’t send the salad back or talk to the manager. A customer should never have to do that in the first place. Besides, what would the salad have been replaced with, more rotten salad?

I thought to myself, “How does the chef know he or she didn’t prepare this salad for a food critic?” Then I realized, I criticize movies, TV shows, video games, music, and people on The Paunch Stevenson Show all the time, so why not food, too? Hence, this blog entry.

I even took a picture, so you can see the disgusting rip-off salad for yourself. Obviously, I won’t be eating at Silver Spurs again.