In this episode:
- our giant movie review of Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011) in 3D, starring Shia LaBeouf and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley,
- the ridiculous length of the movie,
- the end of the shaky camera fad,
- a list of movies and TV shows Michael Bay ripped off (The Transformers, Superman, The Watchmen, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, and Jackie Chan’s Who Am I?),
- illogical Duracell battery pricing at Staples,
- our roll call of robots in the movie (Optimus Prime, Bumblebee, Ironhide, Ratchet, Sentinal Prime, Starscream, Megatron, Shockwave, Soundwave, and dozens of unnamed robots),
- Sentinal Prime’s face modeled after Sean Connery,
- Bay’s horrendous computer animated version of John F. Kennedy,
- Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) constantly screaming and crying,
- Bay’s terrible Barack Obama impersonator,
- Sam spending an hour going on job interviews,
- Leonard Nimoy as the voice of Sentinal Prime and Galvatron,
- various plot holes,
- Optimus Prime actually wondering where his trailer went in the movie,
- robots who were killed in the movie (the unnamed Scottish Autobot, Ironhide, Megatron, Starscream, the unnamed Decepticon bird, etc.),
- our welcoming of the inevitable Transformers movie reboot,
- Transformers spitting,
- Michael Bay turning Optimus Prime into a ruthless murderer,
- Peter Cullen and Frank Welker’s voice acting,
- Shia LaBeouf’s recent acting career (Eagle Eye and Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps),
- Bay’s constant use of slow motion,
- billions of dollars worth of damage in action movies with no consequences,
- hacking into objects,
- Bay’s ignorance of science,
- the lack of rules and continuity in Bay’s Transformers movies,
- What Ever Happened To? (Bugle Boy jeans, Z. Cavaricci genie pants, Zubaz, IOU sweatshirts, B.U.M. Equipment, etc.),
- Roseanne Barr’s reality show Roseanne’s Nuts on Lifetime,
- a Transformers: Dark of the Moon cameo by Scott Krinsky from Chuck,
- Bay’s completely wasted use of 3D,
- fans feeling obligated to watch bad movies,
- Glynn Turman appearing in Super 8 (2011) and Gremlins (1984),
- Sean Connery’s brother Neil Connery starring in bad movies: OK Connery (1967) and The Body Stealers (1969),
- celebrity deaths (Peter Falk and Sherwood Schwartz),
- Paul Reiser and The Paunch Stevenson Show episode 2,
- and a new stupid style (extremely short cutoff shorts with dangling pockets).
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