The Paunch Stevenson Show episode 175

In this episode:

  • our giant movie review of Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011) in 3D, starring Shia LaBeouf and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley,
  • the ridiculous length of the movie,
  • the end of the shaky camera fad,
  • a list of movies and TV shows Michael Bay ripped off (The Transformers, Superman, The Watchmen, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, and Jackie Chan’s Who Am I?),
  • illogical Duracell battery pricing at Staples,
  • our roll call of robots in the movie (Optimus Prime, Bumblebee, Ironhide, Ratchet, Sentinal Prime, Starscream, Megatron, Shockwave, Soundwave, and dozens of unnamed robots),
  • Sentinal Prime’s face modeled after Sean Connery,
  • Bay’s horrendous computer animated version of John F. Kennedy,
  • Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) constantly screaming and crying,
  • Bay’s terrible Barack Obama impersonator,
  • Sam spending an hour going on job interviews,
  • Leonard Nimoy as the voice of Sentinal Prime and Galvatron,
  • various plot holes,
  • Optimus Prime actually wondering where his trailer went in the movie,
  • robots who were killed in the movie (the unnamed Scottish Autobot, Ironhide, Megatron, Starscream, the unnamed Decepticon bird, etc.),
  • our welcoming of the inevitable Transformers movie reboot,
  • Transformers spitting,
  • Michael Bay turning Optimus Prime into a ruthless murderer,
  • Peter Cullen and Frank Welker’s voice acting,
  • Shia LaBeouf’s recent acting career (Eagle Eye and Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps),
  • Bay’s constant use of slow motion,
  • billions of dollars worth of damage in action movies with no consequences,
  • hacking into objects,
  • Bay’s ignorance of science,
  • the lack of rules and continuity in Bay’s Transformers movies,
  • What Ever Happened To? (Bugle Boy jeans, Z. Cavaricci genie pants, Zubaz, IOU sweatshirts, B.U.M. Equipment, etc.),
  • Roseanne Barr’s reality show Roseanne’s Nuts on Lifetime,
  • a Transformers: Dark of the Moon cameo by Scott Krinsky from Chuck,
  • Bay’s completely wasted use of 3D,
  • fans feeling obligated to watch bad movies,
  • Glynn Turman appearing in Super 8 (2011) and Gremlins (1984),
  • Sean Connery’s brother Neil Connery starring in bad movies: OK Connery (1967) and The Body Stealers (1969),
  • celebrity deaths (Peter Falk and Sherwood Schwartz),
  • Paul Reiser and The Paunch Stevenson Show episode 2,
  • and a new stupid style (extremely short cutoff shorts with dangling pockets).

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